EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

You will now find Monday's blog posts on my website www.barbcote.com   Thanks for your patience as I switch things up!! Peace & Love :)

PREPARING TO LAUNCH (re-post)

What a great analogy!  Our lives being like that of an arrow.  Having to be pulled back in order to move forward and hit our mark.

There's another arrow analogy I remember from one of my favorite little books called The Lakota Way. It's about partnership.  How an arrow on it's own is useless without a bow and vice versa.  It takes both of them working together to create a useful result.  That's a great reminder about the importance of having strong, supportive and equal partnerships in our lives.

I've not been in a 'romantic' (for lack of a better word) partnership for many years, mostly because I made a decision to take a step back and work on myself so I could eventually attract a spiritually connected bow and arrow relationship :)  What has happened for me on what has turned out to be an amazing and powerful solo spiritual journey, is that my solid bow and arrow partnership has become the one between myself and Spirit. In addition to this now very solid partnership, I have some pretty darn solid bow and arrow friendships too!

It's very clear to me now, that when I would go through my 'pulling back' phases, I found myself getting closer to and seeking guidance and comfort from within and from Creator (which is what I choose to call God, Source, the Universe).  In my younger days, I was too angry to even believe there was a God, so when I would go through this phase, I moved further away from that partnership because I didn't even believe it existed!!  That's a whole other blog...I'll stay on topic here.

  

It's during these drawbacks (in whatever form they show up) we can, if we choose, take comfort in remembering that we can use that time as an opportunity to strengthen the most important partnership we will ever have on our journey here.  The one with ourselves and a higher power.  As we move through the time of pulling back, we can understand that we are in a phase that precedes forward movement.  Sometimes the arrow is pulled back for longer with a more powerful bow, depending on the distance and strength of the intended target.  The drawing back phase is essentially one of gaining momentum, and a very necessary part of our growth and movement forward.

It seems to me, the further and more powerful our destination, is oftentimes equated with the amount and  frequency of set backs in our lives.  Translated I'd say it means the bigger our purpose and the more people we are meant to use our lives to help, the more crap we gotta go through!  How else are we going to gain the knowledge and experience to help those who come behind us with similar life circumstances?

I've been experiencing a time of drawback this past week or so....it's been subtle but evident to me.  It's surfaced this time as a quiet vulnerability and insecurity.  The timing makes perfect sense, as this week I will be launching my artist website and selling prints and canvas of my latest creations.  Drawing was something I did for myself, in fact many people who have known me most of my life weren't even aware that I sketched.  In this time of my arrow being pulled back there's this quiet voice that whispers to me that I'm not good enough.  I understand this to be my experience prior to the launch, so I can use this time to get closer to my bow, and then stand solid in my confidence knowing this isn't about me, it's about me using my life and sharing the gifts I've been given.  As it is for all of us here.

If you're in a launch phase right now, I hope you're getting some awesome air time!!  If you're in a pull back phase right now, be patient and keep in mind you're preparing to launch and it's part of our human process.  Oh, and remember, you'll need your bow! ;-)

Peace, Love, and Bows & Arrows.....

PERSPECTIVE

We can look at what we didn't do, or we can look at what we DID do...we can look at what we lost, or we can be excited about what we are about to gain...we can look at the past or we can anticipate our great future.

We have just come out of a mercury retrograde phase and eclipse season...where we've all, no doubt, gone through circumstances which has tested our strength and had some 'past' feelings and issues surfacing giving us the opportunity to shed yet another layer of our old selves and old circumstances.

I dipped and dived into those waters myself for a few days.  Reflecting on what was or what could have been, as it is part of our human process, it's purpose being that of personal growth.  A process for which I am most grateful for today.  Some days we get self absorbed and feel sorry for ourselves, wishing things could be different.  But they're not.  They are what they are.  It's in that acceptance where we find peace.  It's in keeping faith that all is as it's meant to be and the knowing there is a bigger plan working that we can't always see.  It's about making mistakes and learning from them, bringing ourselves to a place of knowing better so we can do better.

The trick is not getting caught up in our negative thought patterns for too long.  Just long enough to be aware of the opportunity to use them to find gratitude in our lives and to make a choice to pat ourselves on the back for our accomplishment, instead of beating ourselves up for what we know we should have done or should still do but haven't yet, or to let go of what is gone and look forward to what is yet to come.  

It can definitely be a challenge to stay positive all the time that's for sure...impossible I would say...but there's power in our awareness of those negative thought patterns surfacing.  We can notice them, acknowledge them and look at something to be grateful for.  Taking time out to nuture ourselves and just 'be' and not 'do' helps too.  It's in those quiet times where we can hear our own heartbeats, and realize we are connected to a powerful universal love energy, and truly are never alone on our journey as souls having a human experience.

I choose to be grateful today for the amazing supportive people in my life, and finding joy in the simplest things.  I choose to believe that something incredible is about to happen, and that the best of my life is yet to come.

Peace, Love and Perspective 

Labelling the 'Gifted' as Crazy

One day I arrived at Starbucks where I was waiting to meet a friend who was running late. Only myself and another table of people where in the coffee shop as I waited.  The other table consisted of a mother with two young ones and somebody she was apparently interviewing for a job.  I thought it interesting one would have their kids accompany them to a job interview but that's none of my business.  

My focus at one point moved to the oldest of the kids, I'm guessing he was approximately four but could see his soul was wiser than most.  Mama bear was busy paying attention to the interviewee while the kids quietly occupied themselves, quite amazingly so.  As I was nudged to look up at the young one at one point I noticed he could see energy.  I giggled with my inside voice as I proceeded to watch his eyes chasing the energy bubbles that appeared only to him.  He was darting his eyes around and then he started to 'pop' and 'flick' the energy bubbles with his hands.  As I happily watched him playing with Spirit and energy, I thought to myself, how many people would label this child 'crazy' or immediately 'assume' something was wrong with him?  

In our society some parents or people begin to worry about a child's 'abnormal' behaviour it seems, and off to the medical system they go to determine what is 'wrong' with their child who has an invisible friend or sees the unseen in general.  A medical system that is not equipped with a belief system that honors their special gifts.  One that usually is quick to diagnose them with some medical issue and prescribe drugs so the child fits into society's idea of 'normal'.

I remember when I was a young girl, seeing energy in different colors. Oftentimes at night I would wake up and see the lights dancing high in the room I was sleeping in.  I would get a little freaked out sometimes and cry.  My mother would come to comfort me and tell me I was hallucinating, that it was my imagination.  I'm sure she had no idea and figured I was having nightmares but I was awake when I saw the energy, just too young to explain it so she could understand.  I believe I 'turned off' those gifts at that point as I was not validated and it took me my lifetime to come to understand my intuitive gifts.

Now that I own my gifts, and speak openly about my experiences, I have had many young ones feel safe enough to come to me with their stories.  Some hear the trees talking, some see energy coming from their hands, some see auras, some have prophetic dreams, some see spirits, guides, angels and fairies, and some can touch a tree or an object and immediately see a movie in their minds about the energy that place carries and the history of what went on there.  I listen with an open ear and get excited about their specific gifts.  They feel relieved they have finally told someone and more importantly, they feel validated.  

If they tell the 'wrong' people about their experiences, they could end up being carted off to the doctors and end up taking prescription drugs which actually numbs their intuition. Yet it is their intuition that will help them, and us survive on this Earth.  We all have it but we don't all honor it because we've been labelled weird or crazy. I've even personally experienced some religious people saying we/they are talking to the devil?  That was new to me, not being raised any religion and having little knowledge of the bible, I had no idea this was being taught to the masses.  I can assure you I'm not talking to the devil.  Neither are these kids.  I don't judge those people for their take on it, we all get to believe what we want.

I think many of these very wise souls who are in young human form here have come with great purpose at this time on Earth.  What if we created a safe space for them to speak about their experience without fear of judgement or being labelled as crazy?  What if we talked to them about their experiences, even if there was some fear about it on our part? What if we encouraged their visions and helped them to develop themselves on this level?  Many of these kids have chosen parents who believe in more that what the eye can see so they can do just that.  Others have chosen paths where they feel judged and ridiculed by the people in their world.  Maybe you could be that one person who changes how one of these kids sees themselves.  

I believe they are wise souls, as are we, who chose this human experience now, as did we.  The strongest of the strong are here to help save the Earth, please validate them so they may shine their light and create a beautiful place for them to express themselves freely.  They are our future.  

Our Happiness Lifts the Spirits of Others

Wow...we've certainly been through some rough terrain lately...some are struggling in this heart opening energy while others are feeling more free than they ever have.  And itt's all okay.

Sometimes we can feel like we don't have a 'right' to feel happy and joyful when others are moving through tough emotions like sadness and grief but we do.  It's important to remember that we are each on our own journey and that will bring what it brings.  Our individual times and experiences of 'pain' are there for us to move through and become stronger in the end, and we all experience our times of struggle and pain at different times.  It's important for us to have compassion for the people in our world (some we know, some we don't) who are being pushed into uncomfortable territory for their soul's growth but we don't have to take it on.

It seems we humans sometimes 'feel bad' when they are experiencing joy and happiness in their world while others are suffering.  What if our happiness and joy energy is helping to carry others through their hard times?  It wouldn't be productive to feel bad for feeling good if that is the case.  If we can be in our high spirit energy without guilt we can use it knowing we are lifting the energy of others while they are down.  When we are down they might be up and helping to lift our energy.  Even though it is an 'unseen' thing, doesn't mean it's not happening?!

So if you are going through a difficult time in your life, know that others along with Spirit are helping to carry you.  And if you are happy and high on life...bask in it!!  Get as high as you can without feeling bad, knowing that you are helping to carry them.

It's all about living in our hearts right now.  When I went through some of my hardest times, spinning in a deep dark hole not seeing even a glimmer of light, I can see now I was being broken open.  Being made to 'feel' even though those feelings didn't feel good at ALL they were still feelings.  Something I'd spent most of my life trying my hardest to avoid.  I'm grateful now and can see so clearly that our hearts must be cracked open in order to let the light in so we can eventually reach a feeling of peace, love, and compassion for ourselves and others.  That's why we came here.  To live in our hearts and it's happening, it just doesn't always feel good when we're being broken open.  Those harder times also showed me who the people were who gave a shit and had my back.  I wouldn't trade that for anything now because I had things all mixed up.

Our hardest experiences are often there for us to grow through and heal from so we can help others once we are in a good place again.  We can't do that if we let our experiences break us down...we can only move through them keeping in mind that we are being asked to become stronger, to be role models for the others.  Mostly our young ones.  If they see us get healthy and strong through our painful times, it gives them hope and they will know they can do it too.  If we give up, they give up.  They will be the leaders one day.

If you're happy and high on life...SOAR, laugh, and play and don't feel bad about it.  Our happiness is infectious and contagious!  If you're experiencing hard emotions now or lately, hang on, keep the faith, and you will move through it to a better place. You'll see.

Mercury Retrograde...Friend or Foe?

RE-POST   Mercury has just gone retrograde again (July 14th) and will remain so until August 8th....here's a reminder about the energies this cycle brings and how to use it in your life if you so choose :-))  

‘That’s not fog.  It’s dragon’s breath.  It’s magical.  When the dragon’s breath comes, when the fog appears, it is a magical time, a mysterious time.  Things begin to change.’  ~ The Lessons of Love by Melody Beattie

I’ve been working with the moon cycles and this cycle called Mercury retrograde for quite some time now and have found that life has become easier because I am aware of, and use the energy of these cycles for my personal growth.  Let me say first off that I have a basic understanding of Astrology, I am not an Astrologer, and it’s not my intention to make believers out of those of you who have no belief or interest in this stuff.  I’m simply sharing my knowledge and personal experience for those of you who are interested in the unseen energies that move in and around us constantly.  They can be very helpful for personal growth and awareness.  As above, so below.

Much like the description in the lead-in quote above, Mercury retrograde energy can feel at times, like a fog has set in on our lives.  If we can understand and accept that change is in the air and magic is happening behind the fog, we can easier move through the fog with patience and in anticipation of a time in the future when the fog lifts and things are clear and flowing once again.

There are three to four Mercury retrograde cycles per year and they last approximately three weeks.  There’s a shadow period for days before and after the actual retrograde period when the energies are felt, just not as strongly as during the actual retrograde. 

The planet Mercury in general, rules thinking and perception, processing information, education, travel and communication.  So when it goes retrograde, it often affects these areas of our lives.  For instance, we might notice more than usual, missed messages, misunderstandings, text messages and emails send to the wrong person, taken out of context, or not being received at all.  As well there’s  often travel mix ups and delays, problems with computers, cell phones, tv’s, and vehicles.  You might also notice situations, people and issues from the past resurfacing.  Especially notice what was happening in your life during the last Mercury retrograde because whatever was going on in your life at that time, will likely resurface in some form so you can face that part of yourself again and continue to clear old unhealthy patterns.  Sometimes it's so you can see yourself in a new light and see how you've grown since the last retrograde.

It can be a frustrating time for some people, especially if you are not willing to be honest with yourself and make necessary changes in your life, or if you are pushing and trying to make something happen.  It could be that your flight gets delayed or cancelled, you buy a new cell phone and it’s a total dud, or your computer crashes!  Basically it’s life not going according to ‘your’ plans.  Try to remember something bigger is happening and you are ultimately not in charge even though you think you are! 

This is not a time to make firm decisions, move forward on projects or plans, or sign legal documents or contracts. It can feel at times like you are pushing against a strong wind, so why not wait until the planet moves forward again, and have the wind CARRY you instead?   When we insist on pushing forward at this time, we will often find out later that the paperwork couldn’t be completed because of some unforeseen circumstances, the contract or deal falls through, or new information is revealed that might have been important in your decision making process.  It is also not a time to purchase a vehicle or electronic equipment of any kind as there are often issues that surface later with respect to that equipment or vehicle or it could be you just get a dud.

The best way to use this retrograde phase is to research a new project, or work on an unfinished project, reflect on life and recent situations, revise, review, relax, renegotiate a contract or situation, clear out the old things (emails, computer files, paperwork, closets, garage, vehicle) that no longer serve you in order to free up energetic space for the new to come in.  

New information is often revealed to us by the end of this cycle, as there is likely something more to learn or release before moving forward on your path.  It’s a great practice to back up your computer before Mercury retrograde!  Confirm travel itineraries prior to travelling and do be prepared to be patient should your travel end up cancelled or delayed.  I’ve learned to roll with the travel delays over the years…I used to be SO anal!!  Now I understand the universe can see ten steps ahead of me and I watch for new people I might meet or circumstances that transpire that I might have missed due to the delay.  Maybe it’s there to teach us patience, maybe it’s there to save our ass.  It’s best to trust those delays.

Personally I love Mercury retrograde!!  I used to dread it when I owned and ran a travel agency though!  Yikes.  Although having an understanding of the energies of this cycle and keeping a sense of humor helped!  When wires got crossed or computer systems went wonky, I could find some humor in it knowing full well that Mercury was behind it!  Now I use this time to reflect, do a life review, watch what old stuff is coming up for me emotionally, and I put my energy into researching new projects or pulling out old unfinished projects.  I am also cleaning out old emails and outdated files on my computer.   I am simply aware, and do a lot of deep breathing and practicing patience, all the while knowing full well that clarity and a time to take action awaits.

So?  Mercury Retrograde, friend or foe?  You decide. J

p.s.  Moon phase and mercury retrograde calendar can be found at www.astroprofile.com

"The several days before Mercury reverses direction are called the storm and it’s a good time to read what is going on in your life. The Mercury storm is like the tidal surge before a hurricane. It’s an experience that gives you information about what the ingredients of the retrograde period are likely to be.    

Every Mercury retrograde has different ingredients, but some themes are more likely than others. Among the most prevalent paradigms is the discovery of that which has been concealed or otherwise escaped notice. The revelation of information is one of the fringe benefits of going back over the same ground.  

Because Mercury corresponds to the means of mind, retracing its steps symbolizes the positive potential of repetition and review as an alternative to the more negative reputation for reversals or delays. It’s analogous to reading the same book again, picking up on what you missed the first time, or practicing a piece of music over and over, becoming more proficient." ~ www.planetwaves.net 

CHANGE (Re-post from April 2012)

I've come to embrace change. This, from a human who used to do everything in her power to avoid change!  I remember at one point in my life moving into a house I'd purchased jointly with my then husband, saying "that's the LAST time I'm moving"!! hahahaha  The joke was definitely on ME!  It's years later now and I find myself (after many seemingly 'forced' changes) with all my material belongings able to fit into one room, moving place to place living like a gypsy....and I've never been happier or felt more free in my entire life!  

When I look back in my life at the times of transformation, it's very clear that better times would come in place of what was falling away.  Seems we are in times of great change here on our planet as we all move through circumstances beyond our control.  It appears to me that hearts are opening and people are coming together in spirit through these challenging times.  Change can seem unfair, but if we wait awhile, we're able to look back with more clarity. 

Change is easier to move through when embraced not resisted, and it's happening in our lives constantly by way of death, loss of a job, falling away of relationships, or a change of residence, to name a few.  Sometimes change comes all at once, sometimes it comes voluntarily and sometimes it is forced by the universe because of a bigger master plan that we can't see yet.  Either way, it is there for the purpose of making way for new people, places and situations to enter our lives.  We can use it to expand and transform ourselves and our lives, or we can curl up and let it defeat us.

Change sometimes seems forced when it is actually an answer to our prayers and wishes for a better life.  If we vision ourselves being the best possible version of ourselves, and we ask the universe to help us in that vision, then we have to be open to 'how' that takes shape.  The universe is in charge of the 'hows', not us, and the saying be careful what you wish for comes to mind at this moment.  When we vision and ask for something, we are showing the universe we are willing to change so why do we do we freak out when change happens?  Usually because it's not happening the way WE want it to!! We usually would rather take the safe route without too much discomfort, when in actual fact change is NOT always comfortable.  

A letting go or grieving as the old falls away is an important part of our human process as well.  Letting go of the old actually makes 'space' for the new and unknown to enter.  We must however, be careful not to stay in our grieving for prolonged periods of time as that can put a hold on the new people, places and situations that are ready to enter our lives.  Looking back for too long at what we feel we 'lost', whether that is a person, a job, a situation, or material belongings, can keep us from moving forward.  

If we think of change as an opportunity to welcome a new aspect of ourselves or a chance to mold our life into something productive and positive from that loss, we can learn to move through the uncomfortable times with more ease and understand the process better.  This keeps us from having fear become the emotion that ultimately takes over and paralyzes us.  Fear is always present on some level  as we move through times of change, but we don't have to let it take over our lives.  Courage is not the absence of fear, it's feeling the fear and doing it regardless!!  

I've learned over and over again in my life, that as time passes there is always some blessing that has come through the changes I've gone through if I keep my heart open to seeing what that blessing is.  The most profound and powerful blessings have come from the hardest and most painful times in my life.  I can see now the universe had bigger plans for me than I had for myself and all those shake ups and breakdowns were so I could build a stronger, happier, and better version of myself.  

So if you feel life is forcing change in your life, hang on and breathe through the process while you keep your heart and eyes open to the blessings that show themselves.  Be willing to let go of the past and take time to grieve and say goodbye to the old.  You can also do what I do, think of yourself as a caterpillar in the process of morphing into a butterfly, a rabbit changing colors, or a snake shedding it's old skin.  BREATHE......TRUST.....and BELIEVE.  

Whatever you do, try to remember that CHANGE is a part of life and no matter how much we resist it, the fact is that nothing ever stays the same.  Ever.  

COMMUNITY

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” - JANE HOWARD

Living in a city of a million people off and on for the past couple of years, after living in small communities all of my life, experiencing a true sense of 'community' has not happened for me here until the last couple of months.  Being out in the world among the sea of people has been an unfamiliar path for me, but one I knew I must travel, as Spirit nudged at me to do so.  While I have met some amazing people along the way, I wondered at times if that same sense of 'community' I'd lived for so long, existed out here in the big world.  Not having a concept of LIVING life in the city, and the mega people who make up such a place, I wasn't sure it existed.  Until now.

It's not like I've lived under a rock, don't get me wrong.  I've travelled alot, by myself mostly, to various places in the world, but I always returned to my safe and familiar community after venturing out.  This time it's been different.  I've just been swimming along, in the flow, and trusting the current to take me where I'm meant to be at any given time.  This new way of being and moving in the world has taken some getting used to.  I would often find myself looking around expecting to see someone I knew.  That's actually starting to happen now...in a city of a million people.  Who knew?!  For so long I felt like a little fish blending in with all of the other fish, knowing I was different from them, yet seeing parts of myself in them.  I recognized some of their souls, even though we hadn't met yet in this lifetime.

Everything is a process in this life.  A process with ourselves and our inner terrain.  What and who surrounds us being a reflection of where we are at on our inner journey.  My journey has me swimming with some pretty cool, heart centered and like minded fish lately, mostly those who are connected to the arts in some form, the creators.  Interestingly enough, it is taking place only after a long solo journey, separatd from the fish I knew to be my community for so long.  While those fish are still very much my community, I have not been swimming with them physically for some time.  This has made room for me to become part of more than one school of fish which has happened over time.  I realize now it's been happening my whole life really, as I swam along, meeting others along the way.  Some fish have swam back into my life and others swam off.  Sometimes it was me who swam off. And that's OK.  I'm sure we will swim together again some day when the current changes....and maybe not.

When you live in a small community your whole life (for me that's Cobalt in Northern Ontario, and Norman Wells and Inuvik in the Northwest Territories), being part of a community just IS.  Everyone knows who you are and what you do and you are part of it all.  I've found that becoming part of 'community' in the city has taken some time, and I've learned that cities are made up of many smaller type communities.  It becomes clear, only after swimming for awhile, where one belongs and with whom.  You have to swim with different fish to know which fish feel like 'home'.

I've been observing the two communities I will always call 'home', pull together lately as their community brother and sisters move through challenging times.  In Cobalt, a single mother and her two kids recently lost their home and everything in it, by way of fire.  The community is pulling together to help her by doing a fundraiser and donating items so she can build a new home.  In Norman Wells and Tulita in the NWT, they are pulling together to pray for and search for one of our young 17 year old community members who has been missing for over a week now.    It makes me proud to come from these communities, and it gives me strength to know that when the shit hits the fan, we come together, closer together every time.  

Here in Edmonton, at the end of May, the wife of a local artist friend, was struck down by distracted drivers and her body was shattered.  She was the pedestrian.  Their journey has had such a profound effect on my journey.  Little did I know, when I volunteered to help with the fundraiser (which will take place this Sunday www.compassion4clarice.com) that my little fish ass would be swimming with many other heart centered fish into a community that has come together a result of her accident.

I think the planet is our ocean, and we are all fish.  Some appear to be angel fish and some appear to be piranhas, but we all swim together in the same water and there is an angel side and piranha side within us all.  It might be a good time to see who you're swimming with and if that feels good or not.  If not, give yourself permission to swim off and find some like minded little fishies and hang out in their school for awhile. The current is changing, and maybe you are too.

It appears to me, that heart centered community is being built as a result of what some would call 'tragedy'.  Maybe that's why tragedy strikes, to create a huge ripple effect, opening our hearts and bringing us all closer together.  A bigger plan that only our Creator can see clearly.  I think it's within our power to trust that bigger plan.  Life doesn't always appear to be fair from where we sit, it's more about how we react to what is happening beyond our control.  If we accept the challenging times as opportunities to open our hearts and get closer to Spirit and each other, our communities become stronger.  I believe our future depends on it.  


Peace, Love and Community..... 

YOU GOTTA BELIEVE IT TO SEE IT

You know that saying 'you gotta see it to believe it'?  I think the more accurate saying would be 'you gotta believe it to see it'!  Believing in the so called 'impossible' and keeping my faith in my dreams against all logic, has resulted in the realization of many of my dreams and desires on my journey.  The latest being that of putting my artwork out for the world to see and enjoy.  

In my younger years, growing up in a small town in Northern Ontario, I would dream of swimming with dolphins.  Where was the logic in that?  From where I sat at the time, it seemed like an impossibility, but I never lost faith. I always KNEW I would swim with my dolphin brother and sisters one day, and I did.  It happened organically many moons later when I was in my early thirties.  I didn't TRY to make it happen.  I just kept the vision my whole life and trusted it would happen, and it did. 

Swimming with dolphins was one of many visions I had for myself in this life.  The one I felt to share with you today as an example of needing to believe in something in order to see it.  There are many, many more I could share with you, but that would be a book not a blog!  Some are small in comparison to others and some have fallen away as they aren't aligned anymore with the person I've become.  

An important part of the visioning process is that we don't listen to the people who call us crazy and tell us that the vision we may have is 'unrealistic'.  They may say 'that'll never happen', or 'who do you think you are?', or they may even tell you 'that's impossible!'.  My advice is not to listen to them, or the voices in your head that may be whispering (or screaming) those very same things to yourself.  It's best to surround yourself with people who lift you up, not pull you down.  Try to remember those people are in your life reflecting your own doubts back to you, and projecting their fears about living their own dreams.  Maybe they're afraid to live their dreams?  Or maybe they're afraid that if you live yours, they will lose you?  We humans really are a funny bunch, and the reasons aren't that important.  What's important is that we find a way to do what we love, and to believe in the impossible, and keep the faith where our hearts desires are concerned.

If you are happy playing and making music, then do that.  Put your heart and soul and energy into it, and the universe will support you by opening doors of opportunity to swing open to get your music out there to bring joy and healing to whoever is meant to hear.  You may be a rock star one day, or maybe not, but you WILL touch the people you're meant to touch doing the thing you love to do.  In the end, it's not about becoming a rock star anyway, it's about what you believed could happen. It's about what was created from your heart and freely given with the spirit to lift someone else up. Oprah's vision was not to be rich and famous, but rather to use her life.  By following her heart and listening to her soul, the universe kept opening doors for her and giving her the platform she needed to do what she came here to do.  Being rich and famous was simply a result of her doing what she loved to do. 

I like to draw.  It's one of the things that feeds my soul and has me feeling fulfilled.  I put it away for many years as I lived life according to others, doing what I thought I was 'supposed' to do next.  However, putting that part of myself away was like packing my heart away in a box and putting it in storage while I followed the sheep.  There was this emptiness inside that could not be filled with anything or by anyone, despite my many attempts at reaching outside myself to find fulfillment.  

The universe arranged to have a childhood friend and I cross paths again last fall. We hadn't seen each other in over thirty years.  This friend would end up needing someone to stay in her beautiful home for the winter, on an acreage on Lummi Island in Washington State.  I had been gypsy'ing around for a few years by the time of our meeting, and funds had run out long ago.  I was tired and weary at times on my soul's path to purpose and non-conformity, so this was a huge blessing!! It was also something I'd visioned alot while spending an entire year in the city.  I would dream about a wooden house with lots of windows on a peaceful acreage, and the universe delivered just that!!  I had to believe it to see it.

My friend would follow her intuition and leave me an artist sketch pad, two pencils and an eraser before she moved with her husband to their second home.  At first I thought I was given this solitude and the winter season to write my book, but apparently the universe had different plans for me.  While I was drawing, I would vision my artwork in print and hanging on people's walls.  Now it is available for purchase online!  

I believed it to see it, and I hope that inspires you to do the same.  

www.barbcote.artistwebsites.com

Peace, Love and Believe It to See It ......
(PLEASE NOTE: Faith and Patience will be required)!!

PREPARING TO LAUNCH

What a great analogy!  Our lives being like that of an arrow.  Having to be pulled back in order to move forward and hit our mark.


There's another arrow analogy I remember from one of my favorite little books called The Lakota Way. It's about partnership.  How an arrow on it's own is useless without a bow and vice versa.  It takes both of them working together to create a useful result.  That's a great reminder about the importance of having strong, supportive and equal partnerships in our lives.

I've not been in a 'romantic' (for lack of a better word) partnership for many years, mostly because I made a decision to take a step back and work on myself so I could eventually attract a spiritually connected bow and arrow relationship :)  What has happened for me on what has turned out to be an amazing and powerful solo spiritual journey, is that my solid bow and arrow partnership has become the one between myself and Spirit. In addition to this now very solid partnership, I have some pretty darn solid bow and arrow friendships too!


It's very clear to me now, that when I would go through my 'pulling back' phases, I found myself getting closer to and seeking guidance and comfort from within and from Creator (which is what I choose to call God, Source, the Universe).  In my younger days, I was too angry to even believe there was a God, so when I would go through this phase, I moved further away from that partnership because I didn't even believe it existed!!  That's a whole other blog...I'll stay on topic here.

  

It's during these drawbacks (in whatever form they show up) we can, if we choose, take comfort in remembering that we can use that time as an opportunity to strengthen the most important partnership we will ever have on our journey here.  The one with ourselves and a higher power.  As we move through the time of pulling back, we can understand that we are in a phase that precedes forward movement.  Sometimes the arrow is pulled back for longer with a more powerful bow, depending on the distance and strength of the intended target.  The drawing back phase is essentially one of gaining momentum, and a very necessary part of our growth and movement forward.

It seems to me, the further and more powerful our destination, is oftentimes equated with the amount and  frequency of set backs in our lives.  Translated I'd say it means the bigger our purpose and the more people we are meant to use our lives to help, the more crap we gotta go through!  How else are we going to gain the knowledge and experience to help those who come behind us with similar life circumstances?


I've been experiencing a time of drawback this past week or so....it's been subtle but evident to me.  It's surfaced this time as a quiet vulnerability and insecurity.  The timing makes perfect sense, as this week I will be launching my artist website and selling prints and canvas of my latest creations.  Drawing was something I did for myself, in fact many people who have known me most of my life weren't even aware that I sketched.  In this time of my arrow being pulled back there's this quiet voice that whispers to me that I'm not good enough.  I understand this to be my experience prior to the launch, so I can use this time to get closer to my bow, and then stand solid in my confidence knowing this isn't about me, it's about me using my life and sharing the gifts I've been given.  As it is for all of us here.

If you're in a launch phase right now, I hope you're getting some awesome air time!!  If you're in a pull back phase right now, be patient and keep in mind you're preparing to launch and it's part of our human process.  Oh, and remember, you'll need your bow! ;-)


Peace, Love, and Bows & Arrows.....

LET IT BE....NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE FIGURED OUT or 'FIXED'

"Freedom from the desire for answers is essential to the understanding of a problem."
 ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

Have you ever caught yourself going over a scenario in your head repeatedly trying to figure it out but no matter which way you look at it, you never get answers?  Me too.  I have.  It's a human thing but we can choose to change it if we want.

Sometimes we humans paralyze ourselves by staying in our heads analyzing and attempting to find answers to things that are simply not meant for us to know yet.  Heck, psychics are a dime a dozen these days for this reason alone.  People's anxiety and curiosity about 'what's going to happen' has fueled this 'industry' but I think we're missing the point.  Most of the 'predictions' I was given by psychics never came to pass, however I see clearly now, that Spirit used many of them as a channel to offer me guidance and direction  which has been far more useful on my journey than telling me this or that was going to happen.  That actually created more anxiety for me!

I believe we all need to become our own psychic and stop giving our power away to others by asking them to tell us about ourselves?!  We are the captains of our ship and are in charge of creating our own lives. Not to mention our 'free will' option gives us the ability to change the outcome of any prediction.  Having experienced this on my journey has been really helpful as I find myself now helping others using my intuitive abilities, to teach and empower people rather than offer predictions.

 I'm speaking once again from experience, as I used to have severe anxiety attacks where I'd faint and my lips would turn blue and I spent my fair share of money on 'psychics'.  Anxiety is when we are in our heads trying to figure things out and wonder what is going to happen, so much in fact, that our breathing becomes shallow enough that we get weak and dizzy and sometimes faint.  I've learned over the years, to accept what is, and live in the moment more and more every day, which has my anxiety pretty much non-existent.  I will sometimes observe it mildly surfacing when I'm going through short bouts of insecurity but I've made huge progress with myself I'm happy to say!

The time we spend trying to figure everything out actually robs us of living a more present life.  It has us missing what is really going on.  We're using all that energy going around and around in our heads aimlessly, never finding a solution anyway?!!  Wasted days and wasted nights (yes, I sang that).  It seems we're either crying over something that's behind us, or freaking out about what's before us.  What about right now?  What about today?  Do you see the ladybug or the blue jay?  Do you hear the music?  Can you smell the flowers?  Maybe you don't have time because you have to get back to figuring everything out and making a plan to fix what isn't meant to be fixed right now?

Usually taking a step back from the analyzing process, allows an answer to come in time.  Obsessing usually pushes the answer or desired outcome further away from us.  The 'letting go' process is definitely a learned thing.  Like everything we want to master, we can only get there by practicing.  I've been practicing every chance I get.  We must first acknowledge when we are obsessing and over analyzing.  Then from that point, we can CHOOSE to stop, accept everything and everyone exactly as is, and then CHOOSE a thought of gratitude instead?  Or choose to send an uplifting thought that person's way or to someone who is going through a hard time. Or choose to talk to Creator, the angels or our spirit guides.  

Maybe a relationship has fallen away for whatever reason.  It happens.  There are people in my life who had to sever ties with close family members because they loved themselves to much to continue being hurt.  Sometimes that's the lesson.  We don't always have to figure out and fix everything unless we want to.  We really can choose to just let it be or even let it go completely.  Guilt free.  Worry free.  Some relationships aren't meant to be 'figured out' or 'fixed' right now. We can let ourselves off the hook and let it be!  We can give ourselves the time and distance we need.  Finding inner peace and forgiveness is the main thing, and sometimes we have to take time and space to do that.  It's okay.  We are only in control of ourselves and our own actions.  If we want to fix something, why not make ourselves your own fix it project ;-)  I've found no lack of things within myself to work on! 

It's been quite freeing and empowering to choose to just let things be perfectly unfixed, and choose who I allow in my life and not feel bad for making those choices.  I'll admit this feeling of not worrying or constantly analyzing and wondering how things are going to turn out, feels amazing yet at times unfamiliar.  I observe my ego wanting me to slip back into my old familiar ways.  I remind myself in those moments that everything is just as it is and it's not up to me to figure everything out and fix what clearly is not fixable or doable right now.  Surrendering makes room for the answer to come and for us to enjoy the journey more.  :-)

Peace, Love and Let It Be .....

WITNESSING THE POWER OF LOVE

Just a few days ago, on May 31st, I opened my facebook after my daily routine of meditation and prayer, and the first post I saw on my news feed was that of Aaron Paquette.  Aaron is an amazing local First Nations artist, story teller and teacher from Edmonton, Alberta, who's work I respect deeply.  We've connected only a couple of times but enough for me to know his soul.  Strong, wise beyond his years, and compassionate.

By way of Aaron's facebook post, I learned that the previous night his beautiful, strong, young wife Clarice, had been in an accident involving two vehicles and a pedestrian.  She was the pedestrian. (I've added his post as well as an update at the end of this blog for those who are reading and are unaware).  

Life as this young couple knew it, changed in an instant that night.  It changed for other people too.  Me included.  I cried that day for them and I prayed and have not stopped since I learned of their fate.  I've never met Clarice or their one year old son Liam, but have come to know them through this journey on which Aaron is humbly and vulnerably taking us along via his facebook updates. 

Creator works in mysterious ways and I believe has chosen Aaron and Clarice as powerful teachers in so many ways.  Sometimes in our humanness (word? I don't know but I use it alot ;-)) we feel that life is not fair and we play the victim for too long, which ultimately hardens our hearts.  While it's understandable to slip into that way of thinking at times, the path to true healing and strength comes from keeping the faith and trusting in a bigger plan for our lives.  This is what I see Aaron and Clarice doing.  They were both teachers prior to this accident.  Clarice a school teacher and Aaron a teacher through his amazing paintings and writing.  They have now become teachers to a wider audience and from an even higher spiritual place.  

Clarice has been chosen to show us all what the power of love and prayer can do, as she continues to respond physically to the energy being sent her way by literally thousands of people.  Showing us all, including the medical community, that miracles can happen.  Aaron has been chosen to teach us that taking the high road by keeping the faith and humbly requesting our prayers and assistance that he has turned what some would call a tragedy, into a love story.  His willingness and ability to communicate his family's heartfelt and very personal journey through words has brought thousands of people together in spirit.

He had a choice.  He could have been angry and bitter, blaming people and even God, but he didn't.  Just one day after the accident in one of his heartfelt posts he said "To the drivers, be at peace. We all make mistakes. Sometimes small things turn into big things in the blink of an eye. There are consequences, but there shouldn't be demonization. Use this moment and all moments after to strengthen your community. There will be a price to be paid, just make sure it's worth it. Again, none of us will ever live a faultless life."  This doesn't mean that he will never feel anger about what has happened, that's a very important step in the process of healing.  It does mean that he is not going to condemn these drivers, he has made the choice to use this entire process to learn and teach.   

That, my friends, is taking the high road in life.  Taking lemons and making lemonade as the saying goes, but this is not 'saying', it's 'doing'.  Aaron understands that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.  That experience may not go the way we think it's going to go, or how we had it mapped out.  It's going to go how it goes.  It is what we choose to do with the hand we're dealt that shapes our lives and the lives of others.

Aaron has shown us that it is okay to show our vulnerability by sharing our pain and asking for help.  I believe that is one of the hardest lessons some of us humans have come here to learn. How to receive.  Social media is such a powerful force when used in a positive way.  Thousands of people from all over the world have been reaching out on facebook and extending their love and prayers, becoming a huge part of this family's healing journey.  We are together witnessing the power of love. 

This story is one we can use as an opportunity to get perspective on our own lives.  It has the ability to pull us out of self absorption and put ourselves to better use by way of sending love and prayers to another human being who is worse off than us today.  It has the ability to change an habitual careless, impatient driver into a more responsible, caring and patient driver.  It has the ability to make us stop complaining about things and be grateful instead.  It has the ability to change us if we choose.  It's changed me.  

It is customary among many Native traditions to dance for those who can't, sing for those who can't, eat for those who can't.  I dance, sing, eat, and walk for others on a regular basis.  It has been between myself and Creator until now that I do this.  I'm telling you not to seek credit, but in hopes that you too will dance for Clarice, walk for Clarice, do yoga for Clarice, until she is strong enough to do it for herself again.  Whether you follow a particular religion or maybe have been on the fence about what to believe, please pray today and in the coming months....it's working.  

While he has expressed repeatedly that prayers are worth more than money, they will still greatly benefit only if you are able. The following link will take you to the donation link on his website http://www.aaronpaquette.net/?page_id=924  , while you're there, cruise through the gallery of Aaron's amazing artwork and soak up the beauty, and maybe even purchase yourself one of his powerful art pieces.  

***********sharing two of Aaron's facebook posts...his first and his latest*************

POSTED May 31, 2012

"On Wednesday May 30, 9:10pm a body was shattered.

The body was that of my dear wife. She was just finishing up an evening jog with a friend when she was struck by a vehicle. It hit her and then ran over her, pinning her body beneath one of the tires.

Her friend was screaming at the driver but he was unaware there was anybody beneath the car.

Police and Emergency Medical personnel lifted the car from off her.

I was not yet aware of any of this as I was at home. Our 1 year old baby asleep in his crib.

Backtracking events leads us to the road snaking through our neighbourhood (she was only a few blocks from home), and a yield sign that was mostly ignored.

A car and an SUV had a contest of who could be more impatient, or who could text best while driving. Exactly what was going on in the two drivers’ minds I doubt we’ll ever know. But lack of concern, lack of precaution led to the accident. That we do know.

When I arrived on the scene there were dozens of people who had poured from their houses to see what was the matter. Emergency vehicles were on scene and my wife was in an ambulance.

She was alive. I asked her if she knew me and where she was. She looked into my eyes and blinked twice. Her whole body was shaking from the shock.

That’s when I noticed her wrist was snapped in half.

Her face was bloody and beginning to swell.

A couple of hours ago, after a long night of tears and waiting, we found out the rest. And there will be more to come.

Deep cuts, contusions and road rash all over her body and across her stomach.

All her ribs are broken.

There are tubes draining the blood that is gathering between her ribcage and her lungs.

Her liver and pancreas are lacerated.

Along with her wrist are broken fingers. This is her left arm. She is left handed.

She has fractured vertebrae. The worst is the T11. It’s obliterated. They will fuse the vertebrae around it with metal plates. There will metal plates holding her wrist together.

She will live.

She has many surgeries ahead and a long road to recovery. It’s uncertain yet if there will be any loss of limb function or if there will be any long term effects from concussion.

She will not be snuggling with our baby for a very long time. She won’t be doing any of the things she loves.

She loves to teach. She has a grade 3/4 split class. She was so excited to get back to them after her maternity leave and now she won’t be back for a very long time.

She loves to run. She was going to run a half marathon in two weeks.

She loves yoga.

She loves dancing.

She loves playing with the baby.

Right now she has tubes all over her, keeping her still, sedated, and alive.

Because someone couldn’t wait three seconds at a yield sign.

Because someone wasn’t paying attention as they drove a 1500 pound weapon.

I’m writing this to let everyone who is going to ask know what happened.

But I am also writing it to ask everyone who reads this to realize that as you scan these words someone is performing surgery on my beautiful darling.

Please slow down.

Please don’t text.

Please be patient.

And please remember that every time you sit in that car you take responsibility for lives you will never know except in passing. Literally.

Pass by. Pass by. Be aware and pass by.

And please, pray for my wife and especially for our little one who already misses his mommy.

We are blessed.

She is alive.

-------

Please share this. Please let this horrific night make difference and save lives.

Please slow down and drive safe."

*********************************************************************

POSTED JUNE 3, 2012

"Through the morphine and the pain I have been reading your heart felt messages to Clarice. She fades in and out of sleep but wants to hear them all.

She wrote this out on a tablet screen today and I wanted to share it with you.

Your prayers have overwhelmed us. They have overwhelmed the medical staff. Her wounds are healing so quickly. They took an X-ray today and tomorrow will see if she can take a few steps!!

My whole life I will never be able to repay your kindness.

You have changed our family for the better and I am a changed man today.

I will try to live a life worthy of your prayers.

God bless you.

God bless you

You have given us so much light it is shining out of her skin. She looks more beautiful than I can describe.

God Bless you."

HONORING AND MOVING THROUGH FEELINGS

We humans certainly are a funny bunch.  There is this thing we do when an uncomfortable emotion surfaces (usually triggered by something or someone outside of ourselves) where we feel we don't have a right to have that feeling.  So instead of accepting that feeling, just sitting with it, or moving through it, we argue with it because we 'feel bad' for having it.  Or worse, we blame other people for OUR feelings!!  Other people may have triggered us to feel a certain way, but we are the only ones responsible for our feelings!

When we don't allow ourselves to 'feel' our emotions, they will continue to surface in some way.  Maybe an inappropriate outburst of anger or rage, illness, an accident, or depression.  We humans have been conditioned NOT to feel.  "Don't cry or I'll give you something to cry about" sound familiar?  If we were taught how to express our anger or fear or sadness in healthy ways, I definitely missed that class!  Men have especially been conditioned not to feel.  Personally, I have been a 'stuffer' of feelings my whole life.  This has surfaced in a few of ways for me, a struggle with depression, 'snapping' and lashing out at the wrong people, sickness, accidents, and/or turning to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes or whatever other diversion I could find in order to avoid FEELING.  

I've learned through doing my inner work (which is pretty much a constant thing) and through coaching others, that forgiveness (of self first and foremost) is one form of letting go and one of the ways to inner peace.  While I definitely believe that to be true, I see us sometimes skipping a very important and necessary step on the way to forgiveness.  Expressing our feelings!  When we are holding on to unexpressed hurt or anger, we will never be able to truly let go, forgive and move on, until that hurt or anger is expressed, despite our willingness to forgive.

Our pain usually goes back to something that happened in our childhood, when we weren't able to understand our feelings, let alone express them in a healthy way.  Throughout our lives we end up attracting similar circumstances or people who cause us to feel that old pain again, giving us opportunity to face it, feel it, forgive, and finally move on.  When the uncomfortable feelings surface, instead of really feeling them and taking a look back in order to identify then express the 'old' painful feeling, we will 'react' to it by one of the many ways we 'avoid' feeling.  Each human has different ways to numb or procrastinate when it comes to 'feeling'.  Some people smoke, do drugs, drink, shop, gamble, eat, have sex, game, or turn on the tv for hours, all to avoid experiencing the uncomfortable feeling.  You'll notice if or when you try to stop your addiction of choice, uncomfortable feelings will usually surface more than normal, which makes you crave your addiction more because you are trying not to feel it.  The wheels on the bus go round and round!

I've managed to slowly identify my feelings by asking myself in the moment of reaching for my choice of 'diversion' "what are you avoiding or feeling right now Barb"?  I'm not gonna lie, this self-awareness gig is hard work?!  The willingness to be transparent to myself however, has been and continues to be the most rewarding gift I've ever given myself.  It's still a work in progress and I love that I've made myself my own project!  

We really do have to feel it to heal it.  If we don't allow ourselves to feel our painful emotions, we will never truly heal them.  If we keep reaching for whatever form of diversion or addiction we use to numb the feelings as they surface, we will never be free from the old pain.  The numbing device will definitely provide temporary relief and sometimes even a feeling of elation, but it will be just that.  Temporary.  It won't be long before the pain surfaces again giving us another opportunity to feel it so we can heal it. 

You can't change what you don't acknowledge so the first thing on the list is to acknowledge the feeling, feel it, then move it.  Here are some ways I've used to move my feelings.  It's important to move emotion.  Motion changes emotion.  If we don't move it, it gets stuck and continues to cause havoc in our lives. 

PHYSICAL ACTIVITY done with the intention of moving anger is a great release

JOURNALLING our feelings, or writing a really angry letter to anyone and everyone we feel anger towards, allows us to move those feelings out of us and onto the paper....really let loose then burn the letter unless you feel you need to give it to the person

PUNCHING PILLOWS or a BAG 

SCREAMING really loud into a pillow, or while driving (with the windows rolled up of course lol)

CRYING....balling our faces off (watch a sad movie and let 'er rip...whatever it takes to get those tears flowing!)

SHARING feelings with someone we trust....confiding in one person for the purpose of moving emotion (as opposed to telling ten people and creating a drama)
WRITE music, poetry, or your story ... some of the most amazing songs, poetry and books have come from people's pain

There's a flow,a pattern in this process...feeling arises, acknowledge it, accept it, feel it, move it...repeat :))  Healing tends to happen in layers so we need to be gentle with ourselves and the process, understanding that the same old feelings will continue to surface until we've worked through them.  The more the layers fall away the more room there is for the happy feelings!!


I'm not perfect and don't have everything figured out that's for sure, but I can share what I've learned and continue to learn on my own journey to wellness in hopes of helping another on theirs.

Peace, Love and Feelings.....